508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
