Your dad touched me again.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
