I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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