i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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