lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
