If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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