Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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