Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
