why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
