what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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