He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
