Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
