No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
