So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
