who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Four minutes until I can fart!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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