My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
