Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
