You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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