True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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