when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
