took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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