We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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