Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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