It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
