Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
