last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
