Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
