I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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