You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
