he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
