hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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