the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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