You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
