smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
