Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
