idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
