Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
