I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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