This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
