I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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