we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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