Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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