Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
