so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
