end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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