he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
