hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
