I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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