Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Randomize
