I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
