I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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