Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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